Downward Spiral

So here's the deal. I'm 23 years old. My Husband is 21 years old. We met when I was 19 and he was 17. When things started out they were wonderful. We never fought about anything and we always had fun doing nothing as long as we were together. Then I ended up getting pregnant. I wasn't allowed to work because of complications and my Husband couldn't keep a job. We were still doing okay at this pont. After our beutiful daughter was born I went back to work as soon as possible to help support us. We ended up working completely opposite shifts so we never saw each other. This is where things started going bad. We started fighting over the house never being clean, or about one of us getting to take a nap, or about not being able to go out and do anything anymore. Well he ended up losing his job again so I started working a job that paid really good money, the only problem was that I ended up working 12 hour shifts, 6a-6p. After that everything just exploded. I would come home from work to a trashed house and immediately start cooking supper and cleaning and getting out daughter ready for bed while he just played his Xbox. Eventually he got tired of hearing me complain and got the job he's currently working, 3p-11p. After that it just seemed like he completely gave up. I'd still get off work, go pick my daughter up and go home to a trash pit. Cook, clean downstairs, get ready to go upstairs to put our daughter down for the night and her crib would smell like pee and there would be a dirty diaper or two just laying on the floor. After about 3 months of this I just got tired of asking for help and not receiving any so I stopped cleaning. Since my mom was the one who watched our daughter till I get off I would just stop off at the house. Grab some clothes for her and me and go sit at her house I til like 8 or 9 when our daughter seemed like she was tired enough to go to sleep. Then I would come home. Head straight upstairs. Clean her room, put her down, and then just go to sleep myself. Of course after awhile this just started more fights because I never helped him clean or pick up blah blah blah. Them I found out he had been talking to other people for awhile. We split and I've been staying at my moms while he stayed at what was suppose to be our house. We've talked plenty of times but I never feel like he's truly understanding where I'm coming from. He said the only reason he did what he did was because he was missing something in our relationship but either he doesn't know what it is or he just doesn't want to tell me. He says he wants to see his daughter and spend time with her but the house is 10x worse than when I left and there's no way I'm letting her go over there. He's told me multiple times that he's planning on cleaning it up but never does anything about it. And from day to day how he feels about us and about us getting back to together changes. I grew up in a broken family and I know how hard it can be and I don't want my daughter to have to go through that. I want nothing more than to get back together but I know that I have no trust for him. I brought up maybe trying one of those couple tracking apps but he immediately got upset and went on about how everyone deserves at least some privacy. Honeslty....I just want to know how to talk to him and maybe kinda work something out. Whether we get back together or not. I just don't know how to communicate in a way that he can understand. Every time we do talk all he really has to say is that I'm talking at him and not to him? I'm not sure the difference. Tried marriage counseling but he wouldn't participate. He said it was because he didn't like the person but when I offered to try and find someone else it never happened. Also every time we talk he always has a way of turning it around and putting the blame on me. I honestly just need some advice on how to get through to him about how I feel and about how to get him to at least somewhat listen to what I have to say.

Submitted December 31, 2016 at 01:26AM by Sapphire_Reshay0413 http://ift.tt/2inpwhj