My dog died

My 14 1/2 year old Boston Terrier was diagnosed with kidney disease two years ago and up until a few weeks ago it was pretty well managed with a special diet, meds, and then eventually fluids at home. Two weeks ago she started throwing up and refusing food. We were all set to have her euthanized, but then we upped her fluids and started her on an anti-ulcer medication and she started eating again. She slept a lot and was incontinent, but her appetite was great and she would still get excited and wag her little stub tail when I came home.

Last night seemed like any other night. She ate all her dinner and licked the plate clean, and then later on I shared a banana with her and she was so excited about it she tried to eat the peel. I took her up to bed and she was a little shivery so I got her settled into her little blanket "nest" on my bed. She snuggled in next to me and my Labrador and fell asleep.

This morning when I woke up she was beside me having a seizure. I didn't panic right away because she had a history of idiopathic seizures - only a couple times a year and lasting just a minute. However, after five minutes she was still seizing, so I called the vet and my mom came and drove us to the vet to have her euthanized. It was not a peaceful, easy death to witness, but she was not aware of what was going on. I only hope that the seizure started in her sleep, and that the last thing she was conscious of was being warm and cozy in the company of the creatures she loved most.

My life was very centered around caring for her - giving her fluids, giving her meds, cooking special food for her, cleaning up her accidents. I miss doting on her. At the end she couldn't walk very long distances, but if the weather was warm enough I would put her little coat on her and carry her when I walked the other dogs, and she loved it. I'm sad that she didn't get a chance to join us the past few days because it has been very cold and snowy.

Right now I am sitting on my couch avoiding going to bed because I don't want to go to sleep and have that horrible moment that happens after you lose someone, when for a moment you forget they are gone and then the realization hits you like a kick in the stomach.

Submitted February 01, 2017 at 01:29AM by underleaves http://ift.tt/2kftrOi