Long time lurker here, but decided to post because I am at my wit's end. I feel defeated, disillusioned, and I don't feel like I know who I am anymore.
About me: I'm 34, active duty military, living/stationed in TX since 2014. My wife and I have a 3 year old son together, and she has 2 daughters (11 & 8) from a previous marriage. She is not working, and gets about $800 a month in child support. I pay for everything (house, 2 car payments, utilities, cell phone plan, and a huge amount of credit card debt). I feel like I am a good dad to my son, and try to spend time with him when I'm not at work.
Lately, my household has been toxic...I'm part of the toxicity, too. My wife and I fight almost everyday about nearly everything, but predominantly about her girls and money. I do not get along with my step kids, and it boils down to their attitudes, their refusal to help around the house, and the way they disrespect their mother; she is very inconsistent with discipline, and admittedly yes I step in and get mad at them/ground them from internet access (only real leverage I have). She feels like I am too hard on them - she may be right, and frankly I feel a lot of resentment for how ungrateful they are.
My wife has accused me of being emotionally abusive, and I don't know how to take that. We both sling mud, but somehow me being the man makes me the abuser by default. We don't fight fair, the past gets dragged up a lot, and it's exhausting.
Also, we fight about our roles. Since she stays at home, I feel like she should be keeping up the house. Instead, it's messier than ever and she blames our son (he goes to half day care 2 days a week, which she asked for so she could "get things done at home"). She constantly naps, and I either end up cooking or picking up food most nights because she doesn't. When I get home, she is laying on the couch, on her phone, sucked into Facebook drama. As of late, she has also been going out to party and getting drunk. Right now, she is sleeping off an NYE hangover (I was the DD).
I am about 95% sure I want a divorce, but I am nervous. Im afraid its going to cripple me financially, that she will try to keep my son from me, and that it will be a war. I want to be happy, and I want her to be happy, and for my son to not be growing up with his parents at war. My stomach is in knots about it.
Sorry for the rant. I didn't know where else to go.
Submitted January 01, 2017 at 03:26PM by soon2divorce2017 http://ift.tt/2hHCLel
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