I’m a 30-year-old man who is inexperienced with dating and intimate relationships. I spent most of my adult life struggling with unemployment and anxiety until I began really focusing on self-improvement about three years ago.
I analyzed myself using books and online articles and slowly began forcing myself out of my comfort zone. I learned how to network and interview. In early 2015 I finally had my big breakthrough and landed a good paying job in a different city, moved there with what little savings I had, and concentrated on work. By the end of 2015 I paid off all my debts began saving.
In 2016, I finally felt good about myself and confident enough to date. I mostly used Tinder and It was difficult at first. I had issues with pornography addiction that was affecting my ability to maintain erections and I flubbed the first three times I tried to have sex with three different girls.
I met my girlfriend in the Spring. We both have similar backgrounds of being “late bloomers” when it comes to sex and relationships. She was incredibly patient with me and I eventually lost my virginity to her and we began have regular sex.
There was a lot of passion at first and I was very eager to make our relationship exclusive, which she agreed to. It’s been amount seven months and I’ve started to have misgivings.
Our backgrounds are very different. My girlfriend comes from a fairly wealthy WASP family while my own parents are middle class. Her lifestyle is subsidized by her parents. Her girlfriends all date comparatively wealthy men earning 250k+ a year, and while she hasn’t directly said it, I can tell it bothers her I’m not capable of paying for expensive restaurants and trips. I earn a good wage but saving for retirement and investing is very important to me.
More than once my girlfriend has said she is jealous of her friend’s boyfriends spoiling but that it makes her feel like a terrible feminist. I have a feeling my girlfriend told her mother about it because her mother tried to give me money for a 6-month anniversary date. I refused to accept it and paid for the date. Since then her mother has tried to give me money several times which I don’t like at all.
My girlfriend has expressed a desire to be a housewife but has zero homemaking skills. Her parents pay for a maid to clean her apartment and she doesn’t cook at all apartment from microwave dinners and toasting bread. I’m the one who is always cooking for the both of us.
My girlfriend has mental health issues relating to anxiety and is pretty emotionally needy. She takes medication for the anxiety and sees a therapist but more than once she has broken down into tears for what I consider to be small things. She got into a fight with her friend over the phone on a venue for a party and cried all evening while I tried to comfort her. She tends to breakdown when plans get awry like a delay in a flight or having to push up a reservation at a restaurant. I admit I have my own issues, I just wish she was emotionally stronger.
She wants to stay in the city. I’m not so sure. I don’t mind living here but I may want to move in the future and perhaps even work outside of the country.
Honestly now that I have had a breakthrough with sex and no longer watch pornography obsessively, I want more sexual experiences. I expressed this desire to my girlfriend and she suggested a threesome with another girl. I’m very apprehensive about doing this given the misgivings I have and her neediness. I don’t know if she is just saying it to keep me happy.
I have so many thoughts flying around in my head and I’m indecisive on what to do. I’ve never been in a serious relationship before. I don’t have any past experiences to relate to.
I know she will be devastated if I break up with her. I’m the 2nd boyfriend she has ever had, the 2nd person she has had sex with, and the first person she has ever loved. She can be loving and caring and I’m physically attracted to her. She's hinted at marriage more than once. We both have similar temperaments and we aren’t nasty or angry to each other but the more time that passes, the more I feel this isn’t working.
Should I try to stick with it and work on our relationship? Should I just end this relationship? If so, how can I do this without being an asshole?
tl;dr: I am new with relationships and intimacy. My 26 year old girlfriend comes from a wealthy background and has mental health issues. I come from a middle class background and have had past issues with intimacy. We're both new to relationships. I'm not sure we can meet each others needs. Should I end the relationship or work through it?
Submitted January 01, 2017 at 03:14PM by BasketOfCamelspiders http://ift.tt/2ixqydj
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