Sorry this is long. Also. I am not trying to judge anyone's parenting. We all parent different. But if I am now being the parent of your kid because you aren't parenting at all - I feel I have the right to say something. This is all over. I'm mentally about to crack so bare with me.
My sisters best friend and I have been acquaintances for a good ten years since her and my sister worked together as teens. She has a 3 year old daughter from a previous marriage and a slew of on again off again boyfriends. Every break up she would call me and tell me how she and her 3 year old is living in their car. But next thing I'd know, she's living with a new guy and things are good.
My son is 9 months old and since he was born, she has lived in 5 different houses with her child (and in her car in between) since my sons birth. This last time, two days after I had a very painful, miscarriage and d&c of twins, she calls me (after knowing I just had surgery and am in emotional and physical pain) sayin the newest man is making her and her daughter leave right then. My husband had taken vacation due to my surgery because I wasn't permitted to lift above 20lbs (my son is 25ish so hubs took care of the babe and our 7 year old).
I immediately feel awful knowing she has her 3 year old. Rush to the house and help her load all her belongings into my husbands jeep. Which included a toddler bed, 60inch tv, a fake xmas tree, and bags of clothing. We get home and she loads everything in the middle of the garage where I park. It sits there until my husband moves it because my son and I got rained on when we took our daughter to school (we live in Florida. It's usually raining non stop or "freezing" this time of year. Freezing being 30-40 lol).
Immediately everything goes to shit. She has not once in less than two weeks, cooked one meal for her child. Fast food or dry cereal. I had two gallons of milk in the fridge and juice for my children - they drank it all. They went through a months worth of my sons Juice, milk and cereal in two days. I went to refill all of that stuff a few days later. Already, a week later, a months worth of my sons milk and juice is gone. As is 5 boxes of cereal because I got my cereal BOGo (I use coupons and plan ahead wth shopping to get the best deals and biggest bang for my buck).
She took over my sons room which has his $1200 crib and dresser and a queen bed and put her daughter toddler mattress (not bed. Just a mattress) on the floor in my daughters room. She tells my daughter to watch her child while she stays in the garage all night and smokes cigarettes. My daughter is 7 and has no problem tellin ya about yourself and just started to hide in my car to get away from the child. My daughter flat out asked me "is Mary a bad mom?"
Since moving in less than two weeks ago, I've only seen her buy fast food. She has not done her daughters laundry. Has not bought anything for her to drink or eat besides McDonald's. Has not cleaned up after her (toys all over the house. Clothing on the bathroom floor or on my couch). She has not done one dish. Has not picked up get or her child belongings and I think assumes because I am a stay at home mom that is my job.
My husband went into our sons room where she sleeps to get my son clothes and found 3 fast food bags and a fast food cup sitting on my sons $1200 crib. Now complete with water spots and paint peeling.
Instead of ever throwing away her fast food cups or bags, she leaves it on the counter. Which is literally three steps from our garbage can.
Within two days of being here, she decided she wanted to use my shower in my bedroom and left her bra and panties on my sink until the next morning. Although I had just scrubbed the entire guest bathroom (directly next to "her" room). Needless to say - it was filthy. Not from my child either. Everything was hers and her kids. This is also where I bathe my son so I am tired of cleaning their mess everyday just to give my son a bath.
My brother surprised visited me and my husband from Colorado with his girlfriend the other night! First time meeting his first very serious girlfriend. My house was a disaster. I had gone on a rant that day about "not doing shit! She needs to clean! I am tired of being her fucking maid and bitch needs to learn".
When my brothers gf asked to use the bathroom my 7 year old told her "oh no use the bathroom in mommy and daddy's room. That one is a lot cleaner. The one is really dirty". How fucking humiliating. I immediately start cleaning my house when my brother and girlfriend showed up and instead of helping, she sat on her fat ass eating cake that he brought over for us. I didn't get a slice. Instead I was doing everyone's dishes and cleaning her mess.
My poor husband has just wanted to watch voltron on our big tv and surround sound in the living room, but can't because "Mary" put her kid on the couch to watch tv instead of in her room where she has a huge tv. Because she wants to sit in her room alone on the phone and doesn't want to take care of her kid. So she leaves her alone in our living room so my husband and I can watch her.
Every morning she kicks my daughter out of the bathroom so her and her child can get ready. Like I've heard her say "olivia go use mommy bathroom so Emma can use this one"
Yesterday I heard her tell olivia (my daughter) "do you have a long sleeve shirt Emma can wear?" So my daughter stopped getting ready for school so she could find clothes for this lady's kid. The issue is, I just gave her a sweater last week for her kid and I haven't seen it since. So why does she need a long sleeve shirt for her kid if she has that sweater? (Btw. It was 37 degrees that morning. So good thing I had clothes her kid could wear or the poor baby would of been freezing).
I asked about it when Mary left the house and I was watching her kid (and cooking for her bc the poor baby was crying hungry) and the kid told me "I peed on it. I don't know where it is I lost it". I asked "Mary" and she made some lie up about "oh she got mulch on it so I have to wash it". I specifically told them I needed it back because it's my mother in laws.
Also about 6 months ago I gave her a $150 Disney Frozen bedroom set for her daughter. Haven't seen it. Instead the child is using an old fitted sheet and a sleeping bag and no pillow case. When I gave her a beautiful new set complete with sheets, curtains, comforter, pillow cases etc.
She hasn't paid us. But was asking me if I knew anyone who sold pills or weed. I said no. But then she told me she got $60 worth of pills one day. After that she dropped the bomb about not being able to pay us.
It hasn't even been two weeks. And the thing is - I ain't letting this innocent sweet 3 year old suffer because her momma is a fat ass lazy slob. The poor baby wants real food! She just walks into our bedroom crying she is hungry. She doesn't even ask the mom for food anymore and just comes to me and my husband now. She told her daughter "you can't be hungry! You ate a bunch of McDonald's today" BITCH of course she is hungry the poor baby ain't getting no fucking real nutrition! The pediatrician flat out said "she is overweight" and "Mary" just laughs saying "oh I wonder where she gets that from!" Like it's a fucking joke!!
I told this girl how roommates have fucked my husband and I over in the past because we have a beautiful home. It's comfortable. I keep it clean. I cook good meals every night. And my husband likes to buy expensive nice stuff. So people get comfortable. I'm naturally a very nurturing person. I've always been "the host". But I cannot mentally handle it anymore.
My 14 year old greyhound just died a month ago. I just lost my twins. And went no contact with my fucked up parents. All I want is for her to take care of herself and child. And buy her own food. I didn't want rent. Although we are in the middle of a lot of financial hardships that come with owning your own home and had to replace a lot of major items recently. Plus the surprise medical bills and my dogs passing have added up and I cannot afford to take care of another child and a grown as woman. I'm at my mental breaking point.
But I just cannot let this child suffer.
The funny part is - her parents live right next to her job and child's daycare. We live 45-an hour away from her job but she chooses to live here instead of moving with her parents which would save her time and money as they don't charge her rent. I think she has burnt every bridge. Every person she has lived with complained about the same shit and history seems to repeat itself. I completely understand why she's lived in 5 places in less than 9 months. But it's not the child's fault.... I know the ex husband is trying to go for full custody. And according to the neglect I see (it's neglect. If you're making a 7 year old watch your child then that's neglect. If you aren't buying food or drinks for your kid. That's neglect. If you aren't buying proper clothing for your kid when you got the money - that's neglect. If you stay on the phone all night chain smoking in the garage phone sexing a random man while your child is wandering around the house at 1130 on a school night and peeing her pants - that's neglect. If other people are feeding your kid because you're too lazy - that's neglect. If you're choosing to buy fast food instead of paying rent for a roof over your kids head for the people caring for your child - that's neglect. Omg don't even get me started on how she is trying to get me to watch the kid so she don't have to pay for daycare)
I'm sorry to rant. I know this is all over. But I am about to fucking crack. My ex and his mom (daughter dad and gma) laugh and say "stina. You're gonna boil over and end up punching the girl in her face" because I do that. I boil over. Take it and take it. Until a dirty fork in the sink or something petty sets me off.
I just know that this little girl would be suffering without our help and can't stand knowing that.
She said when income tax comes she will be out. She already got an advance on it somehow. But idk if I can last til then. Between the laziness and not paying and not taking care of her kid and all the fucking Mexican remarks (in half Mexican. She thinks I need to be reminded of this EVERY FUCKING DAY LIKE I FORGOT) I'm gonna end up in jail.
Submitted February 01, 2017 at 01:46PM by Stina_maria http://ift.tt/2kT6BvJ
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