Unsure if I can break old patterns and rescue this relationship

I'm here looking for advice.

I've come to realise quite recently that I am co dependant.

I choose guys who need me and who I think won't leave me but get very little back sometimes.

When I do get something back and things are going well, I find a way to ruin it and back out without having to do the mature thing and leave or I force myself into a situation where I have to leave.

I also jump from relationship to relationship like a love monkey!

The guy I'm with now is a similar age to me (mid thirties) has been a friend for years and we got together after an overlap with my last relationship. I'm ashamed of that but I was unhappy and wanted to leave so instead of being mature I just let somebody else make the decision and after making contact with him he persuade me. I realise now that even getting in touch was a dangerous game and that I'd set the ball in motion so in fact did make a decision to end the relationship, just a really childish one!

My boyfriend is another in a long line of men that need 'saving' or taking care of and then down the road I get resentful and feel taken advantage of, totally my own fault I know.

The problem is now, I have a boyfriend who does little to no cooking or cleaning, has only started to pay minimal towards rent after me putting my foot down. He goes through spells of making an effort and is lovely. He has a porn habit and I often catch him talking to other women on kik and he recently got drunk and kissed another woman which I forgave.

I'm trying to change and stop being a doormat but he seems confused. I imagine he would be after 2 years of being waited on and pampered.

I just don't know if he can change and be more attentive, complimentary and helpful.

We've been friends for years and he says one of the things he loves about me is my kind nature but now I realise that my nature was just my way of trying I control things around me.

I know I deserve a man who gives 50/50 in the relationship and he's said before that he'll try to be that man.

Do the good people of Reddit think there is any hope for us?

Tldr ?

I let my boyfriend become lazy and dependant and now I want things to change but don't know if they can.

Submitted February 01, 2017 at 11:17AM by Houseplantsrevenge http://ift.tt/2jVtDBl