Hello all,
So I have been in a relationship with my fiancee for almost 6 years. Throughout that time I have become well acquainted with her and her anxiety. Prior to meeting her, I had never had much, if any, exposure to anyone with anxiety.
Initially, her anxiety would only really flare up during stressful times in Grad school or during more stressful interactions with her family friends.
However, over the past few months I have noticed a distinct change.
Her anxiety has emerged as a much more prominent role in her day-to-day life which has also led to her becoming very negative and pessimistic a lot of the time.
I will use the past few days as a small sample-size.
Sunday - day: She had a sudden anxiety attack (unfortunately I do not remember what was going on at the time)
Sunday - night: She is unable to sleep as a result of the anxiety attack from earlier. This results in her, and I, staying up until ~2am trying to find a way to calm her mind and get to sleep
Note: We typically talk over gchat/text all day while at work because, while we both have stressful and demanding jobs, we are still on our computers most of the day.
Monday - day: Over gchat and texting she has 2 separate panic attacks throughout the work day - both about her job and multiple other things.
Monday - night: I got home from work and she was visibly tense and short. I took our dog to the dog park, and she had an anxiety attack in the hour that we were gone.
Tuesday - day: She had extreme anxiety while at work. I was having a very stressful and very busy day at work so I wasn't able to be as responsive as I typically am. She said how she is so fed up with work and that everything was annoying her. I tried my best to be sympathetic to her situation. She went from that thought to saying how much she hates our wedding invitations (we are in the process of picking from multiple designs) and she said "and i feel like nothing is going right and this entire wedding is going to be a disaster." So the wedding is, understandably, contributing to her anxiety. I tried to tell her how much fun and amazing our wedding was going to be. To which I got these texts:
"i have had 3 anxiety attacks today
i haven't slept in 2 nights
my doctor cant see me to prescribe medications for at least 2 weeks
the atavan doesnt fucking work
and i am on the brink of tears every day at work"
Then I attempted to be supportive and comforting to which she came back saying: "i just don't think you understand how much these episodes throw me"
Which is ultimately true, as someone who doesn't have anxiety I will never be fully able to understand this. But, after how long we've been together, I've been able to get a pretty good idea.
So I told her, in so many words, essentially that and how I am only limited to what I can do at work.
To which she replied that "she will leave me alone, then, because she's bothering me." Which is not the case.
Tue - night: When getting into bed for the night, she was texting someone about the most recent episode of This Is Us. I asked her if she was saying that it was a meh episode and moreso a set up for next week's finale - which was met with "shut up shut up shut up" and that I was belittling her show and things of that nature.
Which wasn't true, that's what I actually thought of the episode. But this then, somehow, opened things up and she went into a full anxiety attack. Throughout this anxiety attack she brought up past things - how "she's not enough for me" how "she doesn't do enough around the house" - Asking me if I love her, asking me why I'm always so mad at her (I honestly am not), how I belittle her. And brought up how she knows how much I hate that she doesn't cook to which she reiterated the she cant handle cooking because of her anxiety. I do 100% of the cooking but I don't care, I don't mind. cooking is fine. Would I like it if she cooked? sure. Do I care that I do all of the cooking? I do not.
I remained calm and kept my voice down while I attempted to rationally explain the realities of each of her points. To which those answers would get met with "oh I guess I'm the bad guy then, as always." and "Do you want me to go leave and sleep on the couch?" and "well maybe I should just stay here when you go home (to my parent's as we had planned) this weekend, you'd probably be happier." She also said how I said that "her anxiety is tearing apart our relationship" which is 100% not true. I would never say that and I would never use those words.
And things of that nature. This went on for about an hour of her raising her voice, crying, and interrupting me as I tried to reel her back in to a place where she would be able to sleep.
Wed - day: The day started off ok. We were recently given a giftcard to HelloFresh, that company where they ship you full recipes and ingredients. So we bough 3 meals for next week and, after discount, it came out to $10 which she paid. After paying she decided she hated the "classic" recipes and wanted to switch to the veggie. So I was like - alright, makes no difference to me, so I gave them a call and they were able to switch to the veggie. She then hated the veggie and decided that the whole thing was a waste and a total ripoff. and she said that if it comes and it looks gross then she's not eating it. Regardless that I told her that sometimes gross looking foods end up being good.
Next she told me how she might stay home this weekend while I go home to my parent's so that she can relax. I told her that, while I would love her to be with me always, if she believes she would be better suited to stay home and relax and recharge her batteries then I fully support her decision. To which she said "so you agree it is a good idea that i do not go?" Which is not what I was saying. Which I explained again. Then, a little later in the conversation she said "so you want me to stay behind?" Which was not what I said ever.
If you made it through this whole thing then I truly commend you because it was a rambling mess.
This is just a sample size of the past few days. We have had those nights where her anxiety leads to an out-of-the-blue ( to me) sort of fight which consists of her spiraling and adding on multiple things from the past and me laying there calmly and slowly replying to her things - I have never raised my voice, I have never gone on the offensive during these nights, I have never sworn during these fights.
I just don't know what to do. This is not sustainable. This is not good for her. It went from a periodic thing to, now, periodic times where she is not like this.
But I don't know how to help.
tl;dr: Fiancee's anxiety has been increasing rapidly lately which results in an immense strain on her and a significant strain on relationship.
Submitted March 08, 2017 at 03:16PM by PM_ME_UR_SEX_VIDEOS http://ift.tt/2mCCZGq
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