I've suffered with social anxiety most of my life and while I have it mostly under control now, cooking for people is still an area where I have totally irrational and exaggerated meltdowns and right now is one of those times:
Tomorrow is the Christmas party at work and we do a potluck appetizer/snack layout. I should have just volunteered to bring chips.
Instead I had a great idea in my head to do these fancy rice crispy treats stuffed with reeses pieces and topped with chocolate. I even did 2 test batches weeks ago.
Now, they're done, they're beautiful, but I have the same problem I always do. I worry that they suck. And I never know how much is enough. What if I made too much and nobody likes them and then I have to take all those things home in shame? But on the other hand, I worry about not making enough.
I was so confident when I made my test batches but now I'm worried they might be too hard and stale-tasting. To me they're fine but I worry about being judged. I keep thinking everyone else is some weirdly expert treat maker/tester or something.
My dad used to tell me when I start cooking for myself, I'll enjoy the food more cause I worked for it. Not true at all. I hate cooking because I am my own worst critic.
Submitted December 15, 2016 at 10:11PM by JaineLaine http://ift.tt/2h6ARkD
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