Reddit, I'm not sure what to do with myself but I can't stand just keeping my mouth shut anymore. Quick background on my family household that I live in. My mum - has clinical depression and a chemical imbalance, has medication but only takes it when she feels like it. Mood swings and a nasty streak that is impossible to deal with. Has bad hips so is extremely non-mobile but has always been lazy too. My step dad - grumpy arsehole at the best of times, gets personally offended over tiny things, responds by being petty and trying to inconvenience people as much as possible. Has type 2 diabetes and is slowly going blind. My sister - moved away to London (far away from where we live) 3 months ago but still gets herself involved in all disputes involving me and my mum. Is back home for Xmas until early January. Very negative, self absorbed person.
When I was 17, I had a bit of an attitude as most teenage girls do. I also had depression and was in an abusive relationship with someone that used to beat me, put me down verbally and made me feel worthless. I was failing at college because I was so depressed. Because of this attitude (which honestly wasn't too bad - I just had an eye roll or some snarky response if someone said or did something I didn't like) my step dad decided to kick me out of the home. My mother allowed this. I was 17, no full time job and no way to pay rent or bills. I had to move away to the next town over, was completely isolated and broke. Had no internet, couldn't pay a phone bill, literally nothing to do all day with crippling depression, and obviously that was not a good mix. I developed a serious self harm problem and attempted suicide a few times. Anyway, I managed to get my life together, got a full time job, moved back to my city into my own house, got an amazing boyfriend and a cat. Managed to get along pretty well with my family. Until now.
Out of the blue maybe 3/4 months ago, my mum offered to let me move back home. I was wary about this offer as it only came about after my sister had moved out and she and my step father didn't have anyone to help with housework/cooking/money issues but decided the benefit of all the money I could save before I go to uni in Sept 2017 would be worth it - it wouldn't be too long to put up with them and I had money saved to move back out if I really couldn't stand it.
I regret that decision entirely, I am losing my mind already. I didn't realise how bad they can be, but after growing up by being on my own (I'm now 21 and very independent) and being around my boyfriends family for so long (who are amazing people) I've realised they are actually pretty shitty people. My cat had a veterinary emergency a few weeks ago which cost me so much money that I don't have enough savings to move out anytime soon. But I feel like my mental health is deteriorating at an alarming rate from being back here. This house just has a negative aura and makes me feel like I'm a helpless 17 year old kid again. I feel like I'm drowning and I can't cope. It's likely no one will read this, it was more of a way to vent, but if anyone happens to see this and has some advice on how to cope, please speak up!! This post is really long so I don't want to go into specifics of how they act towards me and what makes me feel so down here but if on the off chance anyone sees this and asks I have a boat load of examples.
TL;DR - moved back in with my mother and step father, can't cope, feel like I'm drowning and need advice on how to handle the stress
Submitted December 27, 2016 at 06:08AM by salty_llama http://ift.tt/2iadiZv
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