TL;DR: 1+ yr relationship, serious, mutual adoration and support, he's a hedge fund ivy-leaguer and i'm a software developer and I feel insecure that he makes so much more than I do.
Both our families are extremely hardworking and are just normal awesome people. We've had our fair share of financial woes.
My bf has no understanding of saving. He understands it conceptually, but has no idea what things cost because he hates shopping and hasn't been a real-life-adult for very long. For example he thought he should pay his house cleaner $80/hr... (man, I wish we could do that for her, but that's more than I make per hour)
We enjoy nice restaurants and I almost always split the bill. I don't REALLY mind it and I can generally afford it, but I'm not saving as much as I'd like, and I feel a little guilty. To make matters worse I really don't want his mother to get the wrong idea about my spending habits.
SUMMARY 1. He makes a lot and spends a lot, and I feel obligated to split expenses with him 2. I have always been a saver. I don't want his family (whom I love) to think I'm motivated to be with him because he earns a lot. 3. - Have you and your partners had different spending habits, how did you reconcile those differences and build good habits together, and what advice do you have for us? (Any and all advice is welcome - relationship/financial/"in-laws"/whatever)
WHAT I'VE TRIED 1. "Let's save. Let's save for something tangible - like a house together" (not any time soon, but a nice goal) 2. "Why don't I make dinner for us more often?" --> I end up buying the groceries and paying for all of it, and cooking! He's a fussy eater. He likes the idea in theory ("cool let's eat healthy and be fit") but things are different in practice. I work all day and then end up cooking two dinners to suit our palettes = more effort, annoyance, I end up paying more lol
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Y'all are awesome. I've seen so much love and great advice on Reddit and I appreciate you all!
Submitted January 12, 2017 at 09:19PM by 125hopper http://ift.tt/2ilXXn2
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