Hello friends.
I looked in the mirror today and finally started to like what I saw. I wasn't bending and standing in a way to hide what I feared to admit. I wasn't just looking at a portion of my face. I was looking at all of my body, including that stubborn belly I've dreaded and sucked in so hard for year. But I wasn't sucking it in. I was...happy.
My last life I was active duty in the Marines. I was a big guy then too, but I burned off the calories in the gym and became as strong as I could. After my service though...I kept eating and drinking the same. I just accepted it. And over a decade the indulging took a toll.
In March, I was diagnosed with gout. Rich man's disease (not the pirate disease). While hereditary...thanks grandpa...it was also triggered by poor diet (thanks me). At the time, lots of takeout Chinese, wine, beer, and about a bottle of bourbon a week. Yea...it was my fault. But I accepted it.
In October of last year, I got my breaking point. I had to buy a black suit to officiate a wedding and I maxed out the size at a normal department store. And it was still snug. I cried in the changing room. I had long accepted my size, telling myself it was not that bad. I was also very aware of it, especially on planes....a weekly experience for me. I was at the brink of the airline seatbelt too...any bigger and I'd have the extension. And I was drinking and eating whatever I wanted on the road. I swear everywhere I went, always hot. I even had a woman ask me once if i had heart disease. It crushed me.
I had to make a change. One of my best friends of mentors introduced me to whole30. Now, I know that diet gets a bunch of grief here, and I get why. But the nature of my work, I wanted to try something different. So I dove in. My fiance supported me, participating (unnecessarily) to make it easier for cooking and shopping. On the road, I controlled my diet through specifically prepared meals or finding approved/friendly restaurants. Some days were tough...scouring into the late night trying to just find anything to eat. But over time, it got easier and easier. I knew what I could eat, asked for this and not that, and always tipped well for the support and convenience. I also started pushing myself harder in the gym.
I knew the diet was working as I packed for a trip one day and threw on my sportcoat. For a while it had been snug, but that morning it hung off my body like your imagine a kid in his dads jacket. The sleeves covered my hands, shoulder droopy, and the front had about 5 inches of pull away from my stomach.
I cried. My dog looked at me worriedly. I still cried.
That was 6 weeks into the diet. I had felt so good at 30 days, I decided to continue. I didn't want to fall into old habits. I wanted new ones. New cravings. New flavor desires. New accepted norms. I was sleeping better, my acid reflux was gone, and my gout...that fucking painful little shit....had not flared up in a month. I kept going at 95%. Thanksgiving I had some bread and dairy. I craved dried mango (organic, no sugar) over candy. I ate carrots by the bags.
Over Christmas I let myself go a little as we headed to Germany for two weeks of pork, beer, schnitzel, and pretzels. I ate and tried it all, but offset it all with about 10 miles of walking per day and a heavy gym routine. I gained 3lbs. Was I happy? Well, yes. I enjoyed the food and experience but it also reminded me just how much indulgence affected me.
So I'm back on the program, jumping into the whole30 again, but I'm feeling like I'm home. I've learned to make soups and sauces from scratch. My tastes and cravings are different....I feel like I am tasting more of the real food. I don't crave bread or ice cream. Frozen grapes? Dear God yes. Homemade butter curry chicken? Eggs and bacon and avocado? Bring it on.
Tonight I put on that blue jacket again, but over top my latest sportcoat that's showing its looseness in the stomach. I can't help but smile. We pulled out photos and compared them side by side and it was clear the difference.
I'm not there yet and have a ways to go, but I will get there. I have an incredible support team, plans, and strategy. It works for me this way. Some days are tough...I miss biscuits and gravy. But now I crave wilted spinach with my eggs and tomatoes more.
I still love food. That won't end. I have a collection of wine that I look forward to enjoying in moderation. But my liquor cabinet has gone from being opened twice a night and sticker once a week to not having been opened in 4 months.
I had to share this all with you. I've read so many incredible stories here, been inspired when I've been down. I'm not perfect, and my way is working well for me at a safe and comfortable rate. And I'm still enjoying my food, just in different ways.
Thank you to you all for all your inspiration, human compassion, and incredible love shared.
Submitted January 16, 2017 at 03:29AM by Factory24 http://ift.tt/2ixayUs
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