First day of the year, my dad asked me whether I want him to be divorced with my mom or not. Last year, I already had my mom asking me that. Great.
About my dad, he's a 'heroic' person. Out of all his siblings, he's the only one who dutifully takes care of his siblings and his father. But his siblings are all backstabbers who have run away with my dad's money, and he still helped them in the name of bond. And his father is an ungrateful guy who does not recognize my dad even after what my dad has done for him. He's a very proud person, especially since his siblings are all falling apart till they needed his help.
My mom is a very fierce character. She doesn't tolerate seeing my dad prioritizing his siblings over my mom and I, as evident by how my dad's siblings are obviously swindling away my dad's money but my dad let them do it anyway. My mom hates my dad's family, because of the disrespect my dad's father showed her, because of how manipulative my dad's siblings are.
My dad expects my mom to accept his family like he did. My mom used to endure it, but after a while, even she gets tired of it. So one day, I was sent overseas for education to get away as far as possible from my dad's toxic family, and my parents opened a shop (no thanks to his backstabbing sibling). That shop ended up being a battleground for my mom and dad, because it made them realize their constant difference in opinion. Being both stubborn people, they are constantly on a dead heat. It definitely did not help their marriage.
Five years later and I returned back to my hometown because I failed to do well enough to complete my education overseas. I have spent the entire 2016 at home, and the distance between my parents are obvious. They don't sleep together (my dad snores really badly, my mom can't take that, my dad can't accept my mom's reasoning) and moved to sleep with me. My mom stopped preparing cookings for my dad because she can't tell whether he'll be eating them or throwing it away (and my dad says he'll either eat it or refrigerate it). And the straw that broke the camel's back was how my mom is going to have a stay over with her friends in the hotel who came all the way from her hometown, and my dad expressed what I believe is jealousy over how my mom doesn't treat my dad's father the same way she did to her friends.
It's obvious they are not meant for each other, but I can't stomach the idea of them being divorced for reasons: 1. Financial stability. I'm 20, unemployed, not even studying in university. The shop needs both my dad and my mom to operate it. With them being officially divorced, as much as I trust their love for me to keep me financially afloat, I don't want to take the risk. 2. In my eyes, they obviously still care for each other. There should be a reason why my mom would mull over and complaints on how long or short it takes for my dad to reply to her work-related messages, or how my dad is telling me he will change all the locks to the house if my mom goes for another sleepover again. 3. It's selfish, but I don't think any child wants to see their parents separated. I've seen how 'close' they are supposed to be for 15 years before they decided it was time to stop the act.
I think something like co-inhabitance will do. Like how my dad and mom can maintain some sort of colleague-like relationship. They don't need to be lovers, but at least they don't hate each other. But my dad seems to be on a fixed mindset of 'either lovers, or divorce' and my mom, being the fierce person she is, will proudly choose to divorce because she knows she's strong enough to handle herself and me on her own and she is eager to get as far away from my dad's family as possible.
And then, they'll tell me that the decision is ultimately mine...
My dad told me today about the 'if your mom went out for a sleep over again, I'll change the locks' threat and told me to pass it to my mom. He also asked the divorce question. I don't know whether I should tell my mom the divorce question as well. I'm afraid of them acting on it, and ended up being divorced.
I know that if I ask them to stay together, they will. If I am ready to have them divorced, they will do it. I can't tell whether I'm being illogical by preventing them from being divorced. Am I just being immature for thinking divorce is a bad option?
tl;dr: my parents want me to decide their divorce. I don't think it's a good idea. But is it?
Submitted January 01, 2017 at 01:04AM by nuoooh http://ift.tt/2hFAnEN
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