Okay, so the other day was me & my boyfriend's one year anniversary. I have a problem with holidays/anniversaries/birthdays. I always expect them to be so great but I always seem to sabotage them.
So the week before, we stayed at my family's condo at the beach. Cooking, netflixing, having sex, etc. We came home on our anniversary to go to our favorite restaurant. Well, as I drove there in the rain and he drank a 6 pack, he called his friend and said "what are you doing tonight? Let's go play pool". At first, I wasn't even mad. But then eventually, I got to thinking on that hour drive and I was like "so you're going to go play pool on our anniversary?" And he said "I thought you said earlier you were dropping me off after dinner" (we both live with our parents and he always wants me to stay with him but I hate when I come home and have to lie about where I've been bc my parents stay on my ass). Anyways, I never said that and idk why he would think I did. So it turned into this huge fight about him not caring about making our anniversary special blah blah. And he even asked what I had did for him to make it special. (Well I'm on my period and gave him a bj but that's about it- def didn't say that though).
So we get to the restaurant and he apologizes and says he didn't mean to make me feel that way. At dinner I felt myself trying to carry on the convo and he didn't get us a bottle of wine like we usually do and we didn't get desert like we usually do.
So after dinner, his friend said he couldn't go play pool. So he asked me to come with him. Just us. Which I was fine with. Then, on the way there, his friend calls and now he can come. My bf knew I was upset even though I kept saying it's fine. But I went anyways but ended up leaving early.
He tried calling and texting me but I ignored them. For 2 days I ignored him. Then he called again and I answered and we fought. He STILL doesn't get what he did wrong. He apologized for making me feel that way but also asked for an apology from me for ignoring him.
SO. Questions: 1. Shouldn't a guy know your anniversary should just be you two? 2. Was I wrong for not doing anything on our anniversary and expecting him to do everything? 3. Why can't he see that even if he doesn't understand, that it upset me that he didn't try to make it special? 4. Why the hell cant we communicate early? 5. Am I overreacting? (He says I'm overly sensitive) 6. Why do I feel like I didn't owe him anything that day yet expected him to make it special without me having to tell him what to do?
Can someone please give me an outsider's view of the situation? I never know if what I'm feeling is wrong or how I react is wrong. My friends think he was being a dick for not getting me anything &I expecting me to hang out with his friends. He sees it as me doing something for him to make it special and that I'm immature for ignoring him for two days.
He thinks we need couples therapy. We're both only 21.
I think I harbor these feelings bc I've always felt like more of a friend than a girlfriend. Like I don't get special treatment. On Valentine's Day, I got him his fav movie and beer and he didn't get me anything. So it isn't an isolated incident.
Submitted December 18, 2016 at 12:25PM by sugabugaboo http://ift.tt/2hNK9CI
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