I'm seriously considering breaking up over this and I'm not sure if I'm exaggerating or not.
My fiancé Brian and I live 10 hours away from my parents and siblings so he hasn't spent a lot of time with them.
I am very close to my family. I have 3 younger siblings aged 12-16 that I love to bits. These kids mean the world to me.
Brian hasn't celebrated Christmas ever (his parents doesn't do anything for it) and he hadn't attended my family events due to various reasons (work or other events prevented him from joining me) But this year I thought we could finally spend it with my family.
This meant a lot to me and he knew how excited I was about it months in advance. The kids were calling me regularly to check things with me and he could see how much it meant to them too.
Yet 3 weeks before we were meant to leave, he tells about this holiday trip thats on sale and that we should take it up. How I always spend Christmas with my family and not with him (He has always been invited!). He then goes on about how I'm not religious so why do I even bother with it.
Now Christmas to me is not about religion, no one in my family is religious. It more about tradition and bringing us together as a family. We all cook together, eat together, laugh together, give each other little gifts, play games and just having a good time.
I tell him that I'm not going to change plans in such short notice just because he found some sale on a trip. Hes free to do as he wishes but I'd like to spend it with my family.
Well we finally attend, we were spending few days here. I thought things were going great, we start cooking and doing the prep work together with the kids.
The kids were being a little cheeky and "trialing" the foods just to "make sure they measure up", nothing new and I actually account for this knowing that but I still love calling them out when they're sneaking some away as they start giggling and come up with some really creative reasons.
Well Brian got really annoyed and started yelling at the kids that they are sneaky, lying brats and gave them a lecture on how rude it is to steal food. I was shocked, pulled him a side and told him that we were all clearly just teasing each other and how theres plenty of food. He was clearly irritated but kept quite the rest of our time there. He didn't even thank my family for having us over, nope nothing. He was cold and distant the entire time and despite our efforts to get him to join us, he just stayed on his phone the entire time
When we finally left he started off again telling me my family is loud, the kids are spoiled, selfish brats with no manners (He couldn't be any more wrong! my sister won a raffle at school and she decided to donate the basket of gifts she got to those who needed it more, shes only 12 and my family is far from rich. These kids are talented, very funny, smart and generous. Yes they can be loud especially when they're excited but who cares ?. He then tells me that Ive ruined our chances of having an amazing time by choosing to take part in this pointless gathering.
I basically exploded at him at this point and told him I couldn't believe I was with someone like him. I don't know what to do at this stage but I don't think I can be with someone like him.
Brian has been apologizing and claims he realizes he behaved poorly because he was disappointed about the trip. He was upset that I spent so much money on food and gifts for the kids when I could have spent it on the holiday (I should mention we have separate accounts and pay 50/50 for all expenses so I didn't use cash from joint accounts). I think the only reason he has backed off is because he realized this is a hill I'm willing to walk off on so I don't think hes actually that sorry. Because each sentence to me is filled with excuses.
Am I being overly sensitive ?. I mean I guess if I was to be fair, Brian is not use to children and he has never really had a crowded big family gathering (hes an only child) but I still dont think being on your phone at any event is acceptable behavior so theres no way he didn't know how that would be perceived.
I love Brian so much and it hurts to think of life without him but the more I think about this the more I think Brian and I are not compatible. To me my partner will become part of my family. I will not be starting a new family through ditching my old family. Am I wrong ?
tl;dr: My fiancé was extremely rude and out of line at my family christmas. He then spent the entire time on his phone and basically either ignored and/or stayed out of any activities we did - just because I didn't change my plans in 3 weeks notice and left the country with him
Submitted December 27, 2016 at 08:16AM by amimakingmista http://ift.tt/2htqHPg
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