Before I share my situation here with you, I want you to know how I am not a spoilt person who calls every criticism "emotional abuse".
So, my mom is emotionally abusing me. Sounds silly, I know, how can a mother emotionally abuse a 20 year old man. But it is killing me and I dont know how to deal with it anymore.
Briefly, my mom is the only family Ive got. Im a single child, my dad abandoned us when I was 1, so on. All of my grandparents are dead, no family, nothing. Just me and my mom.
Although this sounds tough it wasn't really. Ive learned to live with it, and couple of excellent close friends I have are basically my substitute for the family I dont have.
Now let me get to the point. My mom is a really good person. When I was a little kid she was killing herself and doing everything she could in order to make enough money so I could have a nice childhood. And I did.
But it always seemed to me that she was way more strict than other moms I knew.
As years went on, my mom continued to be strict, but what Ive noticed about 3 years ago is that she sorta became evil. Whenever I walk into a room - there she is, bashing on me, insulting me for most ridicolous things (like my scruffy hair which I cant help if its scruffy), etc. She usually freaks out and throws a tantrum over incredibly stupid things - like one (literally ONE) drop of coffee on the table, which I accidentaly spilled.So on.
Did I fuck up by spilling coffee-yes. Was her reaction appropriate? Fuck no.Was there a much better way for her to give me a hint that I should watch out while pouring coffee-hell yes.
This is just one of the hundreds of things she bashes on me everyday. You wouldnt believe how much shit I take every time I walk into the same room as her. I have a feeling she is taking it out on me, because the things she yells at me about are even way more ridicolous than a drop of coffee.
Until 3 years ago, this wasnt like this. She was mostly calm, supportive and nice, and we would have good conversations. Ocassionaly she behaved like I explained above, but I just thought its her strictness.
Now, it may seem like a stupid thing to complain about, but when all you hear, every day, 24/7, from the only family you have, is bashing and anger and abuse, its not good. Until couple a months ago I was dealing with it fine, thinking its just a phase of hers and that it will go away.
But since then I realised this was for good. Ive also started noticing changes in my behaviour - i got gradually more and more depressed, which never EVER happened to me until my mom became such a , well, bitch.
Now here is a thing, I really dont hate my mom. I dont want her dead or anything. I actually wont to help her. I want her to realise that she became crazy. I want her to realise that she is taking it out on me.
However, when I try to tell her that she denies it and says "youve changed, Im trying to get you on the right path blah blah", alongside the tantrum she throws. I havent changed. Not a bit. Im still a good student, a humble person. Last time I told her she was becoming abusive, she threw a tantrum and stopped doing all the chores she usually does (cooking, washing, etc.) and ignored me for 2 weeks straight. Not a pleasant experience (especially if you dont know shit about cooking or washing clothes). Not to speak emotinally how fucked up it is to be ignored by the only relative you have.
What shall I do here? Because I dont really know whats gonna happen to me if I continue to allow her hitting me so hard (emotionally) for no reason.
tl;dr: Mom who was always strict became really really abusive, she is the only family I have, dont know what to do.
Submitted December 18, 2016 at 05:35AM by abm__ http://ift.tt/2heFaKE
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