Self Improvement Guide:
Hey everyone, this is my key takeaways from self improvement over the ages of 16-20. For a bit of background: just turned 20, study at a top 10 worldwide university, happy with where I am socially. Just feel like reflecting now I’m not a teen. This is long and I’ve tried organizing into three key sections to make it easier to read as you can see below.
Section A: Major Lessons
Section B: Skills that I think everyone should know.
Section C: Epiphanies I have had over time, take what you will from them.
Section A
Mindset. This is my key takeaway, above all else. Your mindset dictates your life essentially. Life is not black and white; it is shades of grey. For example, let there be a lukewarm bowl of water (X), now if you dip one hand in cold water then X, then X seems warm. However, if you dip your other hand in hot water then X, then X seems cold. Same process, different effect. Life is similar, the same process can be interpreted in millions of different ways by different people. E.g. the guy who has never been rejected in his life will find the first rejection devastating, where as the guy who has experience of trying and being rejected will just see it as a bump in the road. So while everything cannot be positive at least change your mindset so you don’t overthink the small things. Let your mind make the water seem warm more.
Core Reading. Read these books, there are lots of useful points in them. Mark Manson – ‘Models’ + 'The subtle art of not giving a fuck’; `No More Mr. Nice Guy’; ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ + ‘The definitive book of body language’. Also when you read these books, do not just read them. Go through them with a pen and take notes which you can refer back to.
Failure. Do it more often, the real failure is not trying. This can include girls, applying for opportunities or just doing random things you want. Silicon Valley accepts the nature of innovation and how it involves failure, and has cemented itself as the technological hub of the world. I had a huge fear of failure, still not great, but it is improving.
Emotional intelligence. This can be learned books and a varied social circle. For books HBR Top 10 Emotional Intelligence articles is good. For social circle, try to talk to people from all walks of life. E.g. half my friends are from council estates, others are royalty/billionaires. Some are motivated, others lazy as fuck, some very rule abiding, others not so. All of whom I can learn from. Additionally, try to understand everyone has problems, whilst they may seem vastly different, they mostly fall under the same general themes (e.g. fears/sadness/happiness). Also have self emotional intelligence i.e. if you think you are nervous/irrational about something truly try to think why. Finally, try to understand people's agenda, e.g. Why that certain employee is a dick is because he sees you as competition etc.
Mental Health. Figure out your mental health, WHO defines health as “"a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” Mental Health may be stigmatized generally but make sure your mind is in good health. Your health is your wealth.
Friends. Get some reliable ones, try to be a good friend first too (invite them to things/check up on them), think about what a good friend truly is.
Pushing your limits. This refers back to the point about life is all about relative experience. Try doing things that really push you. Things like working 100 hours in a week, going to the gym every single day for a month or getting rejected by 10 girls in a night. After these tough experiences others will never seem as bad, and you will probably realize you are capable of a lot more than you thought. It also helps you cut out bullshit which wastes your time.
Try new things which put you in very different situation. Key recommendations are summer programs, ideally with people you don’t know. I’ve done like six or seven of these over the last few years and have made good friends and practiced social skills from afresh which isn’t possible with people you have known for years. /r/nofap is an interesting one too and I would highly recommend it. I know it isn’t for everyone however for me it gets me into the mood for doing stuff and I would say that you should try it for 30 days. The subreddit itself is a bit weird though, nofap doesn’t solve world hunger as they would lead you to believe.
Value investing mindset. Value investing is when you look at the fundamental value of a company by examining everything yourself and ignoring what everyone else thinks/marketing campaigns. This is what Warren Buffett does and he is the richest guy in the world. The point of this is that do not let other’s influence your opinion of value. E.g. if you want to go to one of the world’s most expensive bars to order a coke and enjoy the view, then go for it. You don’t need to order some fancy wine to enjoy the experience. Same for fashion/hobbies/anything really, just do what you think is best and get the most enjoyment from.
Section B
Learn to laugh at yourself. If you can’t do this, then learn how to do it asap.
Studying. If you want to get good grades you need to study hard and smart. You are competing versus people who only study, remember this. If you want to be top 10% then study as hard as the top 5% to leave room to mess up.
Death. Perhaps the most obvious fear of all, try having a think about it although remember it’s going to happen so fuck it. If you are still worried, try “Tuesday’s with Morrie” might give some perspective.
Why? Always question why you do something, especially working - why do you work? To afford XYZ, or to get richer? Former is much better. “Four-hour work week” the book expands on this very well.
Negative thought loops are dangerous. E.g. I’m such a failure as I haven’t done X yet I should stop trying a few days later I’m such a failure as I haven’t done X yet. Therefore, just work towards solving X and try to notice if you are having repeated negative thought loops.
Dedication. Don't get comfortable once you get good, the best people are always trying to improve, which is a good attitude to have.
Take action. 99% of the time you cannot solve things in your head, go take some form of action and iterate from that.
Practice. if you want to get genuinely good at something you need to put up with the boring stuff. That means days, weeks, months of stuff you don’t necessarily enjoy. In this case remember why you are doing it. More on this here http://ift.tt/2aC6jYc
Touch more. Feels good man http://ift.tt/1KHTed2
Section C
Google. Anything can be self taught in google, literally anything, take advantage of this
Fashion. Makes you look much better and feel more confident. Start at /r/Malefashionadvice guides, start off simple and then expand from there, also consider your location/climate when shopping. This can get expensive quickly, especially if you are me and like places such as /r/malefashion You don’t have to dress well all the time, however in certain situations it is worth knowing how to dress.
Money. Whether you like it or not money is a huge part of life and can make life considerably easier, considering this learn how to use it well. For this I recommend the book “rich dad, poor dad” and analyzing where you spend your money and looking at whether you can reduce expenditure.
Automation. automate as much of your life as possible, things like what you will eat/wear or your schedule in the morning/night. This is because decision fatigue is a thing http://ift.tt/1wkxXIM. Automation saves time and brain effort for other pursuits which need the brain power
Weight lifting. Give it a go for 3 months and see if you like it. It’s a pretty natural thing and it makes you feel and look good. If you don’t know where to start check /r/fitness and ask away or try the Starting Strength program. At least make sure you are in shape. Which leads us on to..
Nutrition/cooking. Learn the basics. Gaining/losing weight is literally about calories in. Also learn about the necessity for protein, fats and carbs. For actual food, learn to cook some basic stuff (vegetables, meats, rice+pasta), it will save money and make you healthier probably.
Communication. Learn to have honest, explicit communication. If you like someone and want to ask them out, just do it. Also if someone is pissing you off, tell them although remember to use your emotional intelligence to do it in a certain way. This is the easiest way to avoid long term issues. Also learn how to communicate properly, which means being consistent in your message, not simply saying something once and assuming everyone will remember what you say.
Networking. Learn how to do it, good people are always open to good ideas, get chatting to people on planes/anywhere. Just sending a CV/cover letter is lacking in effort if you want to get some kind of professional opportunity. Also if you are interested in certain work someone does, just email them and they may meet up to have a coffee with you. People love to talk about themselves and this can lead to jobs/internships.
Foreign Languages. A language can be cool, I can speak bits of German/French and am pretty decent in Mandarin and Russian. Education is a passport to other countries so consider the opportunities, also language classes are a great way of meeting girls haha
Opportunity Cost. Understand the concept of opportunity cost, learn to value your time in vs benefit out. Investment in vs benefit out. Especially useful when you get a bit obsessed with a hobby like fashion – is that £300 t shirt really worth 30 hours of working? If I save £10 but have to spend 5 hours extra, is my time really worth only £2 an hour?(http://ift.tt/2hK8LiH)
Self Reviews. Do a weekly review, also note down any thoughts/epiphanies you have on a notepad in your phone. Review progress on your goals once a week for 10/15 mins, very good for working on weaknesses and seeing how far you have come.
More books. Further reading of good books in summary form can be found here: http://ift.tt/1T90wai
Concluding remarks:
Learn to enjoy the journey, self improvement isn’t a destination nor is there one set path. There isn’t a perfect person so focus on what you want to do and set about doing just that. Remember to be confident in your actions - you could be fat, unemployed, with no friends or family, in debt, and more content than most. It’s all about your mindset.
Submitted December 18, 2016 at 07:43PM by lampbulb12 http://ift.tt/2hOUhex
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