My family insists that I dye eggs. I'm twenty fucking four. I can't remember ever enjoying it.
If you're single, we'll help remind you how lonely and unlovable you are. If you're in a relationship, your SO has a million unspoken expectations of you.
Everybody stares at you while you open presents and even if you really do like it, you'll pretend to like it so hard that nobody will believe you which will make you pretend to like it even harder in a downward spiral. Please don't sing the fucking song to me. No, I don't have a wish. I just want cake.
If my dad needed something, he'd buy it. Now he has to pretend to appreciate my gift, and I have to pretend to believe him.
Thanks for reminding me my mom's dead.
4 hours of cooking and cleaning for half an hour of eating and tolerating relatives. It's not even tasty food. It's fucking turkey and mashed potatoes and peas. Also we have to watch some insipid parade. I hope you like leftovers, because that's all you'll eat for a week.
Getting gifts stresses me out. Giving gifts stresses me out. Decorating is busywork that's going to get taken down anyway. Baking is just another thing that can go wrong at the last minute. Stress stress stress.
We don't do anything for New Year's. Thank God.
Submitted December 18, 2016 at 08:31PM by winter_mutant http://ift.tt/2h0zZ3d
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