....and takes two 20 minute naps during the day. It's been going on for- I don't even remember anymore. My wife and I haven't gotten a full night's sleep since he was born. He'll sleep in arms, in his swing, in his car seat but poorly. He starts, he'll kick himself awake. The slightest sound will rouse him. He doesn't get delta sleep. Tried the Ferber method. 8th night he was crying for 45 minutes straight. No improvement. It got worse. I don't care what rebuttal or argument hurdles there are- it's the cry it out method with a caveat to give parents the impression they're doing something by scheduling visits. It's bs for us. Not working. He'll be floppy arms asleep in arms and as soon as his head touches his mattress, he wakes up crying and won't stop. My wife blames me. She says he doesn't trust me. It's hit or miss whether I can put him to sleep. I have a higher failure rate than she. I'll chick that up to frustration with our baby. Nothing gets done at home anymore. Dishes pile up. Laundry gets clean, gets taken out of dryer and piled in the corner. I work 40 hours a week and come home and do everything I can just to offer her some relief. And do all the dishes and laundry on the weekend. I do much of the cooking. And cleaning. It's hard to believe that she can't find time to do anything until I fail to get anything done on the weekends because our baby is so demanding. He's downright tyrannical. He's mean to his mother. He scratches her. He pinches her breasts. He kicks the opposite breast while he feeds on the other. He clamps down and pulls off of her nipple every time. Seriously, 100% of the time. He pulls my beard. He clamps and twists as he pulls. He scratches the inside of my ears. There are scabs in each. He kicks. He'll kick the fuck out of everything. When he's awake- around twenty hours of the day he is kicking. When he sleeps poorly on my belly, he kicks my halls. His arms gyrate incessantly. It's rhythmic. He sometimes drums with his left arm when he's crying. He'll reach for things and thrash them until they fall on the floor or out of reach. He hates seats. We have a Clek Foonf car seat, a Bumbo, a folding floor seat, a clamp-on dining seat, a nice swing- he fucking hates all of them. When we go on short trips to Nana's apartment, he'll cry the entire drive- a twenty minute trip. It's 2:05am at this moment and I hear him complaining as his mother tries desperately to get him to fucking sleep. He needs drugs. We do, too. We followed all the advice. We've tried several methods. We practice compassion. I've walked him around town in his stroller in the middle of the night. White noise, brown noise, music, no noise. Nothing fucking works. He smiles and laughs and is charismatic. Just realized he hasn't slept in 24 hours. He's a demon or something. Or psychopathic. He's 6 months old and 15lbs. Which is like in the 5th or less percentile. I'm starting to believe that the lack of sleep is stunting his growth. He's worse than any baby I've experienced in my family. Anxiety pervades our home like a thick, choking miasma. Just screaming into the void.
Submitted December 18, 2016 at 05:18AM by tastyville http://ift.tt/2hMqfYH
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