I'm [29/f] dating [28/m] for almost 4 years, living together for 2 and a half, I've been in school and he works, the dynamics are causing problems...details in text.

My boyfriend of almost 4 years and I have been living together for 2 and a half years now. Before we decided to move in together I was pursuing a nursing degree and the plan was I would get a part time job to contribute half of living together and he would find a full time job to do the same. Realistically this did not work for me as the program was very intense and a part time job did not contribute to much. After 8 months of him sitting on his ass and playing poker to pay the bills he eventually found a really good job that pays him well but he feels as though I am just loafting and he hates that he has to pay for my half. Even though he pays all the bills I've always done all the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and laundry on top of being in school full time. However, doing all the housework doesn't mean anything to him. So the agreement was he would pay the bills and I take care of the house. We were together before I started school, I was working full time and he was not working at all. I paid for everything. He conveniently doesn't remember this.

Last summer my family wanted to take a reunion trip to my parents home country which I had not been back to in 7 years. To go on the trip meant it would be difficult for me to find a summer job so I decided not to work. He made me feel guilty for not working and making him work while I went around and had fun. I really should have worked to help contribute but I was just so fed up feeling like I didn't matter. If I was going to do all the physical housework he was going to pay the bills. I knew that even if I did get a summer job, I'd still have to do them.

This summer I am graduating from my program and I want to visit my sister in Japan at the end of the summer. Even though I will be working come April, my boyfriend is upset that what I make will be going to my trip and not towards us living here. Come fall I will be working full time as a nurse and will finally be able to contribute financially but I feel as though he will hang this over my head for a long time. I don't know what to do about this situation...am I selfish for wanting to go on this trip? He keeps saying he would be able to do soo much more if he didn't have to pay my half of everything.

Submitted January 31, 2017 at 08:13PM by Sharayber88 http://ift.tt/2kSczw0