TIFU on Taco Tuesday

For those who do not know, there are Taco Tuesdays in some restaurants in the US where you get cheaper tacos every Tuesday.

So, I am at work and thinking about getting some lunch. I decide to go to a place nearby which doesn't have great tacos but they are a bang for your buck on Tuesday. I go to this place, ask for 5 tacos and also ask the server to add some salsa. The server does not tell me that that is habanero salsa before putting it on my tacos. I take the tacos and the first bite fucks the shit out of me. I somehow mange to finish the tacos with a sip of water after bite.

Fast forward 8 hours, I finish my workout and do not feel like cooking. I call my friend to see if he wants some tacos at a nearby place which has really good tacos. He says he is down and we both meet at the restaurant. We order our food and are waiting for it. So this restaurant will take your order and call your name once your food is ready. I am from India and have a pretty uncommon Indian name. My friend asks me if the restaurants here pronounce my name correctly and I say they do most of the times and then make a joke that when they don't, I take a shit there and do not flush so next time they do not repeat the mistake.

We both get our tacos, eat our food and have some conversation. By the time I finish my food, the habanero salsa from the morning starts showing its true colors and I feel like taking a shit pretty soon. I keep on talking to my friend for a few minutes when we decide to leave and I tell my friend that I will take a shit and he can leave which he does.

I run to the bathroom and there is a lady changing the trash bags. I ask her to get out asap as my shit is almost hanging. She says something to me while leaving which I don't pay attention to because my mind is involved in something else. I take a shit, feel a lot better, wipe my ass and get up to flush. THE FLUSH DOES NOT WORK. I try it a few times to get nothing except to see my shit floating there. I check the valve in case it is closed but there is no success. Then I realize that the woman probably thought I was going to take a piss and she asked me not to worry about the flush while leaving. I try to look for a cup or something in which I can fill up some water from the sink and let go of my shit but there is nothing. I decide to take a piss to see if that helps but it just scatters the shit everywhere in the toilet. I open the door sneakily to see if the cleaning lady is still there so that I can talk to her and get some water from somewhere to clean my mess up. She is nowhere to be seen. I do not know what to do so I finally decide to run from the place never to return. I go out, sit in my car, drive as fast as I can to get away from the place leaving my shit there thinking would the same had happened if I had not made the joke to my friend about taking a dump and not flushing.

TL;DR Had habanero salsa in lunch, went to a restaurant for dinner, the habanero did its job and I had to go take a shit at the restaurant, the flush did not work, had to run from the place leaving the shit floating in the toilet never to come back to that place.

Submitted January 31, 2017 at 11:17PM by valar_doharis http://ift.tt/2jU8wSc