tl;dr Roommate moves my things out of my kitchen drawer for her stuff. We argue; come to awkward draw. Moves my things again a few months after argument. On fence to confront as I want her to cooperate when I break the lease early.
I moved into this apartment I found on Craigslist last August. Since then, I have consistently butted heads with one of my roommates (there are three of us). Let's call her M and the other roommate is P.
M has lived in the apartment for over 4 years and acts like she has a seniority over me and P because of this. The apartment is rather tiny for three people, particularly the kitchen (which is where the issue comes in). For context, I have one over the counter cabinet and one drawer that are for my things and share two under the counter cabinets with P. P has the same cabinet/drawer allocation. M has two over the counter cabinets, two under counter, and two drawers for her things. She insists on separate cooking/eating/dining things. This apparently is divvying things up fairly. The only things we share are cups, and this is a stretch. A couple of months ago, M moved some things out of my one drawer because I didn't fill the it to capacity according to her. She then proceeded to fill this drawer with various items of hers. I told her I didn't respect that she had done that, and in response she said it was stupid that I had this space and wasn't using it. I said I understood but if she needed space, but she could have just asked me (I also have a shelf in the fridge that P asked if it was okay to put things on because she didn't have much room on hers and I said it was fine, as long as she understood that when I had more groceries, they would take precedent). I don't appreciate what M did, nor when she tried to deflect my confrontation to things I was doing that bothered her (i.e. I didn't clean well enough when it was my turn for the kitchen/living room/bathroom, etc - unrelated to the current issue). She gets angry that we can't apparently read her mind for the things that bother her (didn't realize we couldn't change/turn on the thermostat without her permission first, even if someone else is home before her and turns it on). The conversation ended with her not budging and me leaving in tears because of frustration. Her things remained in my drawer and I had to rearrange my stuff to fit in the already limited space I have.
Flash forward to now, things are okay between us. We chat a bit when we see each other but don't go out of our ways to talk. Things seemed to cool down after our last argument in October over her expectations. I keep my head down, keep to myself, clean my parts of the apartment when it's my turn, and make sure to always clean up after myself.
This morning, I wake up for work and I find that she has removed a larger item in the drawer and replaced it with more of her things. I put that item back and move her things to her cabinets, where they were before, but came home from work to find my things tossed in my cabinet and her things back in. It's absolutely ridiculous to me that she thinks this is okay. Regardless I pay more rent then her, there should be a fair split amongst the three of us. This is in addition to her passive aggressiveness that is driving me insane. She seems uninterested in reaching a compromise for anything and honestly, it feels like she just wants our money so she has cheaper rent rather than actually having roommates.
I consider myself an accommodating, respectful person, and I admit I am on the more introverted side and hate confrontation, but P is also experiencing the same thing, so I know it's not just me. I hate that I'm so quiet about this because it really does bother me, but I am trying to balance this with the fact that I want to leave in the spring (breaking the lease early) and I want her to cooperate when it comes to accepting a replacement. Any attempt to talk has her deflect things back on what I'm doing wrong with no acknowledgement that she may be in the wrong about some things. I'm trying to pick and choose my battles carefully given my leaving in a few months. I honestly don't know what to do in this situation.
Sorry for the long post, needed to rant.
Submitted January 31, 2017 at 11:40PM by _dercrimedog http://ift.tt/2kpMffT
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